Good morning jokes that can’t control your laughter. These jokes and make you happy as well as smile to make your morning amazing.
Morning Quotes is the platform to find latest good morning quotes to make your morning happy, funny and productive.
Some good morning jokes to laugh out loud!
Best Good Morning Jokes
Doctor Doctor! I am sterile,
– Is it possible that I transmit this problem to my children?
– Doctor, doctor! I have very yellow teeth, what do you recommend?
– Brown tie.
– Doctor, doctor! How was the delivery?
– Well, all very well, but we had to put oxygen on your son.
– Oxygen? With the illusion that Federico made me …
Two drunks go in a car, and the Civil Guard stops them. They ask each other:
– Uncle, what do I do?
– You give him 50 euros and you will see how nothing happens.
He gives him the 50 euros and the Civil Guard lets him continue. Continue driving 50 meters and another control.
– What I do?
– Give him 50 euros.
– But man, it’s 100 euros since I don’t give him more!
– Come on, the fine is 600!
He gives him the 50 euros and the guard lets him continue. Keep driving and after a while another control …
– It can’t be! uncle what do I do?
– Give him another 50 euros.
– But man, if it is already the third that can not be, no.
– Let’s see, 150 euros are better than 600. Come on, man.
He gives him another 50 euros and the civil guard tells him:
– If he gives me another 50 I will tell him how to get out of the roundabout.
A couple talking:
– My love, do you believe in love at first sight?
– Clear! If I had looked at you twice I would not have married.
– You know dear? When you speak you remind me of the sea.
– How cute my love! I didn’t know that I impressed you so much.
– You don’t impress me … You make me dizzy!
The husband asks his wife:
– Dear, when I die are you going to cry a lot?
– Sure, you know I cry for any nonsense.
These are best good morning jokes to be happy and laugh more in life. These jokes will release your bad emotions and make you happy and peaceful.
Happiness is necessary in life to be happy. It can also help to release our bad stress and get positive life. It also improves our good night sleep.
Funny Good Morning Knock Knock Jokes
- Why do the seals in the circus always look up?
- Because that’s where the spotlights are.
- You’re obsessed with food!
- I don’t know what you mean croquely.
- Why are you talking to those slippers?
- Because it says “converse”
- Do you know how a magician looks after eating?
- Give me a short latte.
- My machine broke, over.
- Good morning, I would like to rent “Batman Forever”.
- It is not possible, you have to return it tomorrow.
- Waiter! This steak has a lot of nerves.
- Normal, it’s the first time they eat it.
- What does one roof say to another?
- Roof of less.
- Good morning, I wanted a t-shirt of an inspiring character.
- Hello, are you here?
- No, I’m uncomfortable.
- What is the funniest fruit?
- The orange ha ha ha ha
- Where does Superman hang his super cape?
- In superhero
- What does an iguana say to its twin sister?
- We are
- Good Morning. I am looking for work.
- Are you interested as a gardener?
- Leave money? If what I’m looking for is work!
- Grandpa, why are you in front of the computer with your eyes closed?
- It is that Windows has told me to close the tabs.
- I just got bitten by a snake!
- Do you charge?
- No, idiot, he did it for free!
- What is a fish in a movie theater?
- A mere spectator
- Hello, I am Paraguayan and I want to ask you for the hand of your daughter to marry her.
- For what?
- Why go a box to the gym?
- To make yourself safe.
- This is a man who walks into a spike bar and says:
- Ay, ay, ay, ay.
Good Morning Jokes To Make Her Laugh
- Why did the math book commit suicide?
- Because I had a lot of problems.
- What does a penguin say to a penguin?
- How you nothing!
- What does an egg say to a pan?
- You have me fried.
- No, with Tarzan.
- What does one spaghetti say to another?
- Does the body ask me for sauce?
- What does one grain of sand say to another in the desert?
- Man, I think they will follow us.
- -What it says one tree to other?
- What’s up, buddy!
- Yes zombies fall apart over time, degradable zombies
- What’s the name of Bruce Lee’s vegan cousin?
- Broco Lee.
- What are 50 physical and 50 chemical together?
- Well, I type.
- Hello, do you have books for fatigue?
- Yes, but they are exhausted.
- I’m good
- Delighted, me bad.
- What a fortune Henry Ford has made with cars “
- And his brother with the cheeses!
- What does a dog do with a drill?
- What does a depressed hen say to another depressed hen?
- We need support.
- What does one loaf of bread say to another?
- May I present you a crumb.
- Do you know why you can’t argue with a DJ?
- Because they’re always changing the subject.
- Why did the printer go into cardiac arrest?
- It seems you had a very strong impression.
- What is a dumb man doing dancing?
- A move.
- Why can’t fortune tellers have children?
- Because they have the crystal balls.
- Hello doll.
- Hello ankle.
- Why doesn’t the sea dry up?
- Because he doesn’t have a towel.
- What does a bee do in the gym?
- Doctor, I am asthmatic, is it serious?
- No friend, it is me.
- What do astronauts always complain about?
- Lack of space.
- Mom, at school they call me clueless.
- Child, this is not your home.
- Dad, Mom says you are obsessed with the mobile.
- Shut up
- What does the seal say to its mother?
- —I love you, mother seal.
- Doctor, my whole body is covered with hair. What am I suffering from?
- Suffers an
- Mom, Grandpa is sick.
- Then put it aside and eat only the potatoes.
Jokes On Good Morning Messages
- What does one printer say to another?
- That sheet is yours or my impression.
- How much does it cost to rent a car?
- It depends on time.
- Okay, let’s say it rains.
- A man walks into a restaurant and the waiter asks him:
- White wine, sir?
- It has not been to see the prices.
- A patient enters a consultation.
- What is it that brought you here? Asks the doctor.
- An ambulance, why?
- How is a mother-in-law like a cloud?
- In that when they leave a good afternoon stays.
- Excuse me, where is the section of books on the sense of taste?
- Sorry, there is nothing written about tastes.
- Doctor, doctor, it hurts here.
- Then get there.
- Doctor doctor, it still hurts.
- Hurting, stop following the kid.
- Do you know what a .gif says to a .jpg?
- Cheer up man!
- A family occupied a piece of land in Hawaii.
- Now to see who evicts her.
- Quick, we need blood!
- I am 0 positive.
- Too bad, we need an optimistic mentality.
- Hello, what planet comes after Mars?
- Wednesday, teacher.
- Why doesn’t SpongeBob go to the gym?
- Because it’s already square.
- Two blind men go and say to each other:
- I wish it would rain.
- Hopefully me too.
- Mom, Mom, can you make me a ham sandwich?
- What is a hair on a bed?
- The sleeping beauty.
- What a beautiful hamster
- If his name is Sam
- And where did you buy it?
- Ma’am, excuse me but your flight has been delayed.
- Oh, what a thrill, it’s my favorite color!
- You know? Today I bought a pigeon that costs ten thousand euros.
- No no, I’m not exaggerating
- What does a bed bug say to another bed bug?
- I’m going to be, I love you
- What does a walrus say to another walrus?
- Shall we eat lunch or what?
- I don’t know if I’ll be able to make that girl fall in love.
- Do you have cows and sheep?
- Well, you already have a lot of cattle.
- You have committed a mathematical crime.
- Well, I assume it.
- Well, I’m arresting him.
- Why don’t ducks have friends?
- Because they are very unfriendly
- if you knew that I was going to die tomorrow, what would you say to me today?
- Will you lend me 1000 euros, and tomorrow I’ll give it back to you?
- In the pharmacy:
- Do you have pills for fatigue?
- They are sold out
- How are chemicals fired?
- Acid a pleasure
- They gave me a stand
- How to whales?
- My neighbor is a musician.
- And what is it?
- The eggs.
- What does a duck say to another duck who were competing in a race?
- We tied.
- What are two Basques doing on top of a cloud?
- Yes my captain!
- I didn’t see him yesterday at the camouflage test.
- Thank you, my captain!
- How much does this stove cost?
- $ 5,000.
- But hey, this is a scam!
- No, sir, this is a stove.
- What is a louse doing on the head of a bald man?
- you are fired.
- But I haven’t done anything.
- That’s why, that’s why.
- A pleasure to come to your mutual.
- It is mutual.
- A pleasure to come to your mutual.
- What does a 2 say to a 0?
- Twenty with me, handsome.
- The captain said:
- Board the ship!
- And the boat was beautiful.
- Doctor, doctor, what can I do so that my son does not pee in bed?
- Let him sleep in the bathroom.
- Hello, is it the butcher shop?
- No, it’s the shoe store.
- Excuse me, I have the wrong number.
- It doesn’t matter, bring them, we’ll change them.
- Hey, do you have camouflage suits?
- Have them if I have them, you know, but I’ve been looking for them for a month.
- One goes to the eye doctor and says:
- Doctor, the letters are coming together.
- Well pay them, man, pay them.
- A drunk is in a zoo cage singing a lullaby to the gorilla.
- What the hell are you doing there? – Asked the guard.
- Well, you see, sleeping the monkey.
- —I am in FAVOR of freedom of expression.
- -And me.
- -You shut up.
- I’m an expert in hieroglyphics.
- Well, take a look at mine, it doesn’t cool well.
- Jesus, how was the last supper? Was it expensive?
- No way, cross came out.
- What happened to you?
- Nothing that I burned.
- What you, what tea?
- One dead to another:
- “Leave me money, man.”
- “I can’t, I’m stiff.”
- Hello beautiful what’s your name?
- Maria from Los Angeles, and you?
- Pedro, from New York.
Good Morning Funny SMS
- What does it take to light a candle?
- What does a jaguar say to another jaguar?
- What did a mosquito say to a group of children?
- Why did an egg go to the bank to borrow money?
- What does one cup say to another?
- What does a traffic light say to another?
- Why does a lady bring glue to the restaurant?
- What does the sea say to the wave?
- What does the invisible man drink at lunchtime?
- What does one wall say to another wall?
- Why was the math book crying?
- What did 0 to 8 say?
- Why did the computer go to the doctor?
- What is at the end of everything?
- What is the height of a book?
- What is the height of a bald man?
- Why do storks shrink a leg to sleep?
- Do you know how a girl and a train are alike?
- Why can’t you advise a skeleton?
- What is the height of a thief?
- Dad, how does it feel to have such a handsome son?
- Once upon a time there was a man so small that he climbed on top of a marble, you know what he said?
- Why does the music teacher need a ladder?
- What are the 3 letters that scare thieves?
- Why did the TV cross the road?
- Which animal can jump higher than a house?
- How does a tomato sneeze?
- What is the tomato’s favorite dance?
- What did one balloon say to the other in the desert?
- What is the best cure for dandruff?
- What did a roof say to another roof?
- What does a zero say to another zero?
- What is the smallest high?
- What is the capital of the highlands?
- A mother tells her children that they are playing in the park:
- “Children don’t play on the dirt.”
- So the children went to play on Mars.
These are good morning jokes for you. I hope you enjoyed a lot reading it. These jokes can help you stay happy forever and read this whenever you will feel unhappy in your life.
These jokes can improve your bad mood and convert it to the good mood.